I’ve spent my whole life wanting to be that super free, slightly edgy girl. (We all know those kinds of girls.) She’s the one who knows what wine she likes. She pins trendy clothes to her pinterest board… and then actually purchases said clothes and looks super cute in them. (Quite likely landing herself on someone else’s board as a pin.) She’s been around – she gets the jokes, she’s experienced. And not to sound all middle school about it, but she’s cool.
I’m not that girl.
I’m no wallflower and I think I can jazz up a party, in my own way, but truth be told, I’m a pretty reserved girl with pretty traditional values. I don’t like wine. I dress to look nice, but I’ll never be a fashionista. When it comes to the jokes and the ‘experience’, I come up short…really short, actually.
A group of girls that I know (and love) suggested a movie to me – that widely popular wedding-themed movie with an all-gal starting line-up in that photo up there at the top. It’s supposedly SUPER hilarious. I had my doubts going in, but I really wanted to like it. I really wanted to think it was super hilarious and to be able to get in on that ‘you know that one part when she…’ fun. But, I just didn’t get it. I mean, I’m not stupid. I understood it. It wasn’t impossible to follow. A couple of parts were a little ha-ha, but I just didn’t like it. In fact, I didn’t finish it.
Maybe it was just that one movie. Maybe that one wasn’t my thing. So, I watched another one of these girl-centric movies over the weekend. And although I did really like the overall story of it, the raunch was too much to recommend it to anyone else, in good conscience. And I won’t be in line to see “The To Do List” because I’m pretty sure I’d like Aubrey Plaza’s character before her summer-long girl version of “American Pie”.
I get that I’m a grown woman. I own my home and I can watch and enjoy anything I want. But I’m not that girl. I don’t enjoy women swearing like sailors and coming of age by sleeping with anything moving. I don’t think scripts soaked and dripping with constant innuendo are very funny. I don’t like this trend for women to prove that they can be just as raunchy as the guys.
It’s hard to fit in with the girls when it’s all so foreign to who I am. Some may say my experience is too limited. They’re probably right. I married my best friend and THEN slept with him; he’s my one and only. Casual relationships have never been my thing, and the joking about them kindof puts me off.
I’m not the gold standard. I probably DO think some things are wildly funny that would turn my mother blue. But I’m on this journey to mesh me and what God wants for me. I want to do live that life genuinely, somehow finding the joy in the being different. All of my viewing and listening will not be rated ‘G’, so I’m trying not to be a hypocrite along the way. But I want to have a heart that hears that small voice that whispers “not this”. I want to be shocked by, and not dulled to the outrageous. I want some topics left behind closed, married doors.
So, maybe I won’t get your reference; maybe that joke will be one I’ll have to sit out. Please understand that when I’m quiet, it’s not that I’m judging you for your choices, it’s because I made mine to sit this one out. I’m sure we’ll find something else to laugh about.