I often hear couples, maybe just the girls, lament the loss of romance in a marriage. Seems like the pursuit of butterflies and date nights is at the top of the “things missed” list for them. And I honestly figured that Time-Warp Wife’s 21 days of the Ultimate Marriage Vow would start there, romance and dating your spouse. And even though one of my goals (our goals) for the year is to carve out that “date” time for just the two of us, imagine my surprise when Day 1 started with “Be a Constant Friend and Companion”. What a great place to start – the beginning!
Our life together started out as an amazing friendship during our freshman year of college. Cupid didn’t come anywhere near us for months and months. We swapped date stories and mail-a-devotions (we’d send each other little notes with scriptures through campus mail – if nothing else, just to avoid the void of the empty mailbox). We ate meals together in the campus dining hall. Somehow, we’d end up next to each other in any group setting. His dry sense of humor always made me laugh. He had the best stories. He was easy to talk to, and a good listener, too. We liked to spend time the same ways – not ALL the time, but when we did, it was always a good time.
Road trips are still the best times together. Back in the day, we’d pop in a mix tape – remember those? – and sing duets at the tops of our lungs! And we were awful. Dolly and Kenny, Danny and Sandy, whoever that was and Paula Abdul…they had NOTHING on us at 65 mph!
And when we give ourselves the time to enjoy each other’s company, I can honestly say that boy who used to wear the flannel shirt, super hero tee and floppy skater hair is still the same guy I have the best times with.
So, today I vow to remember, and spend time cultivating, the God-given gift of friendship I can find only in my husband. Instead of focusing on his dirty laundry, our pile of bills and the ever-expanding to-do list that comes from becoming a family of five, I’ll remember those early days of our friendship when we got to spend all that time together just getting to know each other. I’ll find new ways to discover the man he’s become, and not just cling to the memories of who he was. And in those times, I’ll find more of those “million little things” that compel me to prefer him above all others.